Dear friends,
You know how sometimes an epiphany comes to you and you realize that you’ve been on the wrong path for such a long time that you can’t believe it took you so long to see it? Well I found a quote last week that turned my whole world upside down. It said:
It was like a light bulb went off in my head and this voice started screaming “you can’t do this anymore, it’s too exhausting!”
I had also just come home from the dentist, who informed me that I needed a root canal. Aside from the extreme pain in my head and my cheek being swollen like a chipmunk, I had gone to the dentist with a positive attitude. However, after two hours sitting in the chair with my neck turning like crazy (thanks, CD!) and having to keep my mouth open at the same time (if you have CD you know this is like torture), I was physically and mentally exhausted. I was bawling by the time I got home. My boyfriend was working, and the last people I wanted to call to vent were my family or my friends so as not to burden them with my Dystonia frustrations.
So I searched for support groups. On Facebook.
This is SOOOO not like me. For the first time in my life – and the first time since I was diagnosed with Cervical Dystonia and Blepharospasm six years ago – I reached out for support. From strangers! And the response I got kept me crying for another couple hours!
“Welcome to the group honey,”
“You are not alone,”
“I know exactly how you feel!”
“I have to take a sedative prescribed by my dentist so that I’m knocked out when she works on me,”
“I wear a neck brace when I go,”
“I take a pillow with me,” and
“I can imagine your pain and frustration – my two biggest fears are going to the dentist or to the hairdresser.”
Almost a hundred reactions and comments to me just venting about seeing the dentist!
I felt like a weight had been lifted. And that was two weeks ago. I’ve been on Facebook consistently every day since then, not to check on what my friends are doing, but responding to other posts on the support forums, giving advice and sending virtual hugs to those who need it. I’ve also posted questions to ask others for advice. And you know what? It feels AMAZING!
Thus I made several life-changing decisions:
- Admit that you have a chronic illness. It’s about time after six years!
- Reach out for help when you need it – it does not make you weak, because you would be offended if your friends and family needed it and didn’t ask you for it.
- Heal yourself by helping others.
This last one is my favorite, because this is why I started this blog. I have tried so many things – ignoring the problem (like that worked, lol!), medications, injections, various diets, CD recovery programs, cervical chiropractors, exercises, acupuncture, meditation, neuromuscular massage, mechanical massagers, heating pads, essential oils, topical creams, cervical props, pillows, supplements, herbs – I feel like I have a lot of insight to share that may be able to help others with CD.
So that is my goal here. I want to share the things that have helped – and hindered – my progress on this frustrating journey. I’m hoping that you can take what you like from this site whether you have CD or not, and that this little contribution will help someone feel a little lighter, have more energy/strength/hope, and to create a forum for people to give feedback. Every body is different and something that may work for me may not work for others, and vice-versa. At the very least I’m hoping you can enjoy the inspirational messages or get some great recipes out of it!
Thanks for listening.
Love,
Kaija